Mitch Pryor's Helpful Hints for Conquering
Testicular Cancer
That first 'I don't know how bad it is yet' phase is the worst part.
At least this was true for me. After that, everything was a little easier to take.
So get the offending nut out quick, and by the time you are done with this small task,
doctor's will be able to tell you how many and how high the hoops are
that you are about to jump through. You are right, we are all scared that one of those
hoops may be too high. I also know every case is different, but understanding where
we stand allows us to prepare for what we need to do. This isn't the easiest
paragraph to read, I know. But I am leaving it here to let
you know that if you are in this "first phase of ignorance", things get a bit better.
And you will be bettered prepared to fight your fight, whatever it may be, very soon.
Read crap like this.
You are not the first, not the last, and not alone.
Corndogs.
With lots of mustard. Everyday after chemotherapy, I stopped at Sonic and got a
Diet Coke and a 2 corndogs. I don't know why they tasted so good when nothing else
did, but I thought I should let you know. Not everyone can think of corndogs.
Tell your girlfriend/wife/sig. other that you love him/her
I know you mean it. Just remember to say it often. You have to be sure and say
cute things, because she is sure not staying with you for your good looks at this
particular moment in time. I looked like a WWII POW on a hunger strike.
Communicate, Learn and don't whine
We are all men here despite our new aerodynamic stature. Hospitals are busy and
people are going to do things that you don't like or that (God forbid) may even be wrong. Be aware
of what is going on around you. My suggestion is to approach every action in the
hospital with genuine curiosity, not concern. People like to talk about their job
and the way things work. So, if someone approaches you with a large machine that has a
rusty spear spinning on the front, don't scream. Use your best Is-that-a-'57-Chevy-voice
and ask "I couldn't help but notice the large spinning rusty spear you are
bringing in here, what exactly does it do?" "Was it tough to learn to use?" "What
exactly happens when you push that button." If it turns out it is a automatic tonsil
remover, you can politely send her on her way - whereas if you had screamed, you may be
strapped down and tonsiless by now.
Turn off the TV
You can watch movies, read books, and talk. I read all the Robert Jordan novels
cover to cover. Take it easy on the tube. When we are not moving well, the TV
is an easy time-waster. You are not going to be sick for a day, but for
several weeks. In this amount of time, it will drive you insane. Pretty people
with "unforgettable" overdramatized stories will only make you puke, and you are
likely to be doing plenty of that.
Water
If you are not talking, sleeping, going to the bathroom, or having a conversation
with Ralph, drink. Chemotherapy is poisoning your body. I kind of thought of Chemo
as a war of attrition between my normal cells and the cancer cells. Your home team
is out there doing battle and I will bet you money that they are thirsty. Plus you
get lots of praise from the cute nurses for finishing multiple bottles in a single afternoon.
A Sense of Humor
I know you can't be up all the time. Cancer is tough. But when you have cancer
a lot of people are looking in your direction. Its may seem silly, but it is tough
on them to. Let'em know that you are hangin in there by having a bit of fun. The night
my hair starting falling out in droves I didn't feel great, but I wanted pictures
and I had fun taking them. I dare you to walk in on your first day at the chemo room,
look at all the bald people and say "hmmmmmmm. I guess
the barber must be new." Be sure and find a seat next to someone who laughs.
Don't push it
If you are tired, go to sleep. If you are tired of talking to the people in your
room, just fall asleep. They won't mind, I promise.